Cloud's Story
by PolnocnyLiska
Summary: Cloud, acting murderous? No. . ! Really? Yep. Violence, sex. A few chapters. Don't read, if you don't like yaoi!
1. One

One.  
  
I couldn't take it any longer. I remember thinking that I'd never be able to be in the same room with him any more. I remember thinking, I remember so clearly, the words, "Kill him." Over, and over, and over, the words kept repeating in my mind.  
  
"Kill him." Should I do it? Should I take this chance? "Kill him."  
  
But I never got around to it. "Kill him."  
  
The door opened, and the light was clicked on. Light. I never got why people always had to turn on lights. Cannot they just walk through the dark, carefully? "Hey, hun? How come you're in the bathroom? With the lights out?"  
  
"I was dizzy." A lie. I always had to lie, or else they would find out, wouldn't they? "I came in here 'cause it was dark, and cool." Just add to it, why don't you? I have to, of course. "Migraine."  
  
"Are you okay now?" Oh, good. He turned off the light. A smile, I could feel a real smile, crept over my lips. A real smile. "Do you need something?" He moved over to me, and sat down, an arm slipping around me. Cold hands. He had cold hands . . . he always had cold hands.  
  
"I'm fine." More lies. "I just need to sit here in the dark for a little while. 'Til I stop feeling like I'm going to throw up." Hojo. That was his name. A scientist, a man to be respected, and yet a man who deserved no respect. And yet, I look up to this man, this disgusting creature, this thing that is helping destroy my body for the city. I couldn't look at him, not now, not ever.  
  
"Alright, hun. Just, don't throw up, okay?" He looked down at me. My god, he's rubbing my shoulder with that ice cold hand. "You need to keep everything in your system."  
  
Does he care for me? Or is it for the experiments? "I won't throw up. . ." Keep on acting, I had to. I had to pretend as if I wanted to be there, with his arm around my body, on that cold bathroom floor. I had to keep playing. So I laid my head down, right in his lap. That cold hand . . . it trailed up from my elbow to my shoulder, and I could feel god-awful goose bumps rise. So icy.  
  
"Good." I had to look up, to look at that placid face. He was smiling. . . Why would he smile at me? "I wouldn't want you to get sick. . . Are you sure you don't want anything?"  
  
Get away from him. Now that was running through my mind, over and over. Run. Get away. "I feel like going to sleep. . ." Why did I just say that?  
  
"Sleep?" Oh, and there's that soft laugh, that cold, practiced chuckle. I hate that laugh. "Come on then, I'll get you to bed." He sat me up. Both of his hands were cold, on my arms, as he pulled me up while he stood. I had to act like I had a bad migraine, lean on him and sway some. How else would I keep him from doing anything to me?  
  
"Thank you." I had to mutter a thanks, or he might keep talking. I didn't want to hear his voice, his smooth, attractive voice. . .  
  
"You're welcome." His neck was even cold. So bitterly cold. As if, as if his whole body was frozen, a wintry beast. I had to squint my eyes, to act as if that fluorescent light hurt my eyes, made me ill. As a matter of fact, it does. I don't like light, too much. I could live without it. . .  
  
"Ho. . ." Fuck. Did I just call him a ho? "I mean. . . Professor Hojo?" Now he'll think something, something I don't want him to think. That icy creature has a way of doing that, of twisting those words, then running those cold hands down your body.  
  
I hate it, how he's able to manipulate you, to get what he wants, to make you do what he wants. I hate it. "Kill him." Came back. My eyes turned away, for I could not look at his pretty face any longer. That dark hair, those honey brown eyes. . . "Yes, hun?" Hun. He always calls me that. So maybe, maybe it isn't just for the experiment.  
  
"I. . ." I don't know. I don't know why I said your name. I think, I think that I said your name, because I like the way it sounds. I like referring to you as Hojo, and as nothing else. "I don't want to be alone. I'm afraid. . ." Afraid. So many odd things come from me, when I do not think. Is everyone like that?  
  
"What are you afraid of?" His voice. What did he just do to it? It was deeper, more smooth . . . it was, sexier. And then, there we were, at a bed. But why weren't we in one of the cell things? Was it a room, a real bedroom? We did go up some of those escalators. Oh, god! One of those cold hands, oh god. He put it under my shirt, onto my back. I had to shiver. "No one is going to hurt you."  
  
Lie. Make something up! But, I just stared at him. That cold hand, it made me gasp, and I saw something. I saw something in those eyes of his, those pretty golden brown eyes, that told me that he enjoyed that gasp. "Nothing?"  
  
"I . . . don't know. I'm just, scared, I guess." Nothing. I'm not afraid of anything, nothing. Only you. Only this thing I feel, this odd thing I shouldn't feel.  
  
"Then lay down." There was that voice again. And then those cold hands pushed me down, to gently lay me on that bed. Why was he doing this, with so much care? He ignored the rest of the subjects, all but me. Why?  
  
Does he care about me?  
  
Just ask. There you go, open your mouth and say something. "Hey, Cloud. . ." He cut me off. And he used my first name. A chilly finger placed itself on my lips . . . I guess he saw me open my mouth to say something. But what was he silencing me for? Oh. . .  
  
That was why.  
  
A kiss. OH FUCK! A kiss! Now, I really am dizzy. But, his tongue . . . it's not cold. I thought it would be. But, push him off. I have to push him off. But I can't. . . 


	2. Two

Two.  
  
What the hell did I just do? I couldn't have just done that! I let him sleep with me!  
  
"Hey, Cloud . . ?" Oh, and there are those beautiful brown eyes again. And those soft lips. And that smooth voice . . .  
  
"Yes?" Wait! What am I doing? I have to stop this, to get out of here. Oh, should I pretend as if I have another migraine? I should. "Can you . . . speak quietly? My head hurts more now. . ." And so does my ass.  
  
"Sure. . ." Another soft chuckle? Why is he laughing at me? "I was just going to ask you how you felt. . ." Nnn. There he went again, running that ice-cold hand down my skin, down my stomach. "And, did you like it?"  
  
Did I like it?! DID I LIKE IT?!  
  
Yes. "Of course I did." It was the most wonderful feeling, that I ever felt. Painful, but for some reason, it was tender. How could Hojo be tender? He was a monster, a beast! A cold, heartless beast—who just gave me the best sex of my life?  
  
"Good." Cold lips pressed to my neck. Cold hands held me down. Cold. Why was he so cold? 'Kill him.' What? "You aren't feeling too ill now, are you, Cloud?"  
  
No. I'm perfectly fine. "No. . . But, I am still dizzy. Can I get some sleep, or . . . what time is it?" Holy fucking shit. If I wasn't acting like I had a migraine, I would've just sat up as fast as I could! I'm supposed to be training right now! I think.  
  
"Time?" Never mind. Training could wait, as long as I am able to see those eyes so close. . . "It's almost eleven. Why do you ask?"  
  
Will you kiss me? "Because. . . I am supposed to be training right now. I'm gonna get killed." Kiss me, and kiss me all over.  
  
"I can lie." Oh, yes. Kiss me. Please? I know I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be doing this, but. . .  
  
"Hojo?"  
  
"Yes, hun?" Call me hun again, kiss me.  
  
"How come . . . you brought me here, and . . . had sex with me?" Oh, way to go. I just made an idiot out of myself. How do I keep him from laughing at me now?  
  
Wait. He didn't laugh. He smiled! "Because. . ." 'Kill him.' "I've wanted to," 'Kill him.' "for some time now."  
  
'Kill him.'  
  
Why would he want to have sex with me? I'm nothing but a boy, who came here to get away from that stupid house, and those people, and that town. 'Kill him.'  
  
"Why do you ask, anyway? Is it that odd?" Yes. It is. You seem so wonderful, so mysterious. . . So cruel. As if you could have any person you wanted, whether male, female, or whatever—and you chose me. Me.  
  
"Not really. I was just wondering." Smile. I have to smile. Maybe he will smile back? He's so pretty, when he smiles, and when he looks happy.  
  
'Kill him.'  
  
He did smile. And then that cold hand ran through my hair.  
  
'Kill him.'  
  
"Hojo? Why me?" There we go. I got my words out, my question. Why would anyone want to sleep with me?  
  
"Why you? Why do you ask?" Kiss me again, please. Or I'll kiss you.  
  
"Well, because." Just tell him why. Why can't I just say things? Am I so inept of everything? Why? 'Kill him.' "I just. . ." You just think that he could have anyone, and that he should have slept with someone better than you. "I never thought that you'd want sex from me." No explanation? 'Kill him.'  
  
"Why would you think about that?" Oh fuck. Now I have to tell him that I've wanted him for so long?! 'Kill him.'  
  
"I. . ." You what?! MAKE SOMETHING UP! "I just. . . I was never able to figure out . . . if you were gay or not, and I. . ." Come on, keep going! "I just, always thought you'd go for women who are 'tens on the scale.' Not for something like me. . ." Oh, shit. You little fuck! You said thing instead of one. Now he's going to start asking you, if you hate yourself!  
  
'Kill him.'  
  
"Cloud?" Yep. There's that tone, that 'are you okay with everything' tone. "Something like you? Someone like you, is a ten. Blonde hair, blue eyes." Shut up. I don't like my hair; I want brown hair. "You have smooth skin, and you look so innocent, so carefree." Carefree?  
  
"A ten. . ." A ten? To him? To that man, who was like, a fifteen on a one to ten scale?! "I . . ." I don't know. I don't have anything to say. I don't even know what to think. . .  
  
"You are. But right now, I have to get back to work. . ." No! No, please. Stay here with me. Let's have sex again? "If anyone asks me where you are, I'll tell them that I needed you for something, and you got violently ill." No. Please, don't. Don't leave, don't lie. Don't make this a one time thing.  
  
"Okay." God damnit, Cloud. Why aren't you telling him all this shit? 'Kill him.'  
  
"Sleep, take a nap." Kiss me! Please? One last time. . ? "And if you feel like throwing up, the trash can is under the desk. I'll come back later. . ." No. Please, I'll beg you. I'll do anything. Just don't go!  
  
"Thank you." And don't leave me! 'Kill him.' "So, so much. Thank you. . ." 


	3. Three

Three.  
  
Perhaps this is just some sort of game? Maybe he hates me? . . . or maybe, I'm just being used as a toy?  
  
Perhaps all I am . . . is a toy.  
  
I don't deserve this, to be treated the way I am by people. As if . . . as if I'm some sort of person. A person. Someone to love, to be friends with. Something to talk to, to have fun with. . . A person. I don't deserve it. I'm not what they think I am. I'm nothing. . . Nothing . . . at all.  
  
"Why would they think . . . that I'm someone?" Why? All I am is something . . . a toy. A thing to throw around, and to toss aside . . . when you're done. "I know, that I'm nothing. So why . . . do they like me? How come . . ?" Kill him. "I . . . I wish I could be . . . what they think I am. I so . . . so dearly wish. . ." Just get it over with. Kill him. "But I can't. . . I'm too weak."  
  
Too weak.  
  
That is all I am. Weak. Powerless. Something I don't know, and . . . never will know. Something that no one needs to see. A thing.  
  
A weak, useless thing.  
  
Kill him. "So weak. . ." Perhaps . . . I should. Perhaps I should rid the world of him. He's nothing. . .  
  
"Cloud?" No. Leave me alone. Get out of here. . . "Unlock the door."  
  
Never.  
  
"Cloud? Are you okay in there?" I said leave me alone. Why . . . would they bother with me? Bother this thing. This piece of shit that has no right to be here. . ?  
  
"Yeah. I'm fine. . ." No. I can't believe I just did that. "Sorry. I was . . . zoning out. . ." If only I could tell the truth. Make eye contact and admit this. . . But I'm just weak. You're so weak.  
  
Kill him.  
  
"Are you alright?" Oh god. His eyes. Why can't he leave me alone? He's just using me as a toy, isn't he? Just something to play with, then throw away. . . But I guess that's what I'm here for. To be used.  
  
Then thrown away.  
  
"Cloud? Really. . . Come on." No. I told you to leave me the fuck alone!  
  
"Okay." There you go again, giving in! You weak piece of shit. Resist him, or something! He's just going to use you. "I'm really sorry. . ." Sorry. For being here, and wasting your time. I don't mean to. . . I'm really, really sorry.  
  
"Sorry, for what? Come on." Where is he taking me? Back to his bed, so he can fuck me again and go back to work? "You look sick."  
  
I look sick? Why . . . would he care? "I'm fine." Yes. I'm fine. I'll smile for you and everything. . .  
  
"Alright. But, you shouldn't have locked yourself in the bathroom. It's cold in there. . ." But no one could get to me in there. No one will find me in there, at least. "You might get sick, if the Makou is harming your immune system."  
  
"I'll be okay . . . really. . ." Yes. I will. If I keep smiling, I'll be just fine. At least . . . those fucks who think I'm worth something, will think I'm fine. Isn't that all that matters? If they think that I'm okay, then everything is okay. How ignorant.  
  
Kill him. "Cloud. Lay down. And I'm starting to worry. You were so happy before, but now all you do is zone out. You get this weird look in your eyes." Because I don't understand! I don't see why you waste your time with me. . . I'm nothing. Nothing compared to you. You're so . . . so wonderful. So intelligent, and beautiful. Your eyes, they're just . . . I wish . . . everyone had eyes like yours. . . "Cloud?"  
  
"Oh. I'm sorry. . ." Your beautiful eyes. Everyone should have eyes like that. . . "I guess I'm just really . . . tired lately. . ." Yes. Lie. Make yourself worth so much less. "Sorry."  
  
Kill him.  
  
"Don't apologize to me. It's probably the Makou." Yeah. That's what it is. The Makou . . . making me a better object to play with? Would you have thought of me, if I was just someone you ran into one day on the street, and you only saw that once? Or is it just . . . because I'm here. Easily taken over, because I'm so weak? And I'm your play thing. Your object to experiment on . . . just like all those other fucks out there, who are throwing their lives away. They're too good for this. . . Unlike me.  
  
"Yeah." Yeah. That's it. Agree with him. . . That bastard, who's just using you. Kill him.  
  
"Come on. Lie down and get some sleep. . . You need it." No I don't. I slept all day. I want to get out of here. Don't you understand that?  
  
"Okay." Kill him. "But . . . I don't want to trouble you. Can . . . can I go back, to my dorm?" Please, please let me go back. I can't be here anymore. I can't look at those eyes anymore . . . I can't hear your voice anymore. It's . . . not that . . . I don't want to. I just . . . I can't.  
  
"No. It's fine, if you stay here. You won't mind sharing a bed with me, will you?" No. . . No I won't. But I want to be alone. I want . . . to get away from everyone. . .  
  
"It's okay. . ." No. No it's not. Fucking open your mouth and tell him that you want to go back to your own room!  
  
Kill him.  
  
"Good night then." No. Don't turn the light off, don't kiss my forehead again. Leave me be, and let me go back to my own room! . . . but he's right here, holding me. Perhaps . . . this isn't a game? Maybe this isn't some kind of trick, and maybe . . . he does care?  
  
But, why care about me?  
  
I'm nothing. 


	4. Four

Four.  
  
All night last night . . . he kept kissing me. Pressing those cold lips to my skin. . . Why would he keep doing that, as if . . . I was some kind of precious thing? Something to cherish. . .  
  
"Hun?" There he goes again. I . . . I had to smile. I have to. "Did you sleep well?" In between those kissing sessions . . ? No. I was awake . . . all night. Hoping you'd kiss me one more time.  
  
"Yeah." No. "I slept real well . . . thanks." Kiss me one last time? Before you decide I'm not worth your time . . ? Please?  
  
"You're welcome." Another chuckle. Those always . . . made me cold. Maybe that's why he's so cold? Or maybe that's why everyone thinks he's so disgusting? Because he's so calculated and measured, and knows how to get just what he wants. . . I like that. I love that, about him. . . But it's so horrible, that he's so good . . . at manipulating people.  
  
Is he . . . controlling me . . ?  
  
"When was the last time you ate, hun?" Stop calling me that, please? You're getting me in so much trouble, for not going to my training sessions, and staying in my room . . . you're keeping me here, for your own pleasure. . . Are you . . . going to make me go back to everything, and not cover for me?  
  
Are you going to let them punish me?  
  
That's . . . probably what he's going to do. I know it is. . . "Hun?"  
  
Oh. Sorry. I was thinking, about how cruel and heartless you are. "Sorry. . . I'm still waking up." Lies. "I don't know. . . Yesterday morning, before I went for the Makou injections." Now that you mention it . . . I feel hungry. But . . . eating, sounds so disgusting at the moment. . . So vile.  
  
"I'll go get you something to eat then. . . I'll be back, in a few minutes." Okay. . . I'm hungry now. So what if it's disgusting? I sighed. Why? Do I want him to find out, what I'm really thinking about? No . . . it was just a sigh. People sigh all the time.  
  
He's so handsome. . . Getting dressed, over there by his dresser. I really wish I could be like him. Just like him . . . who cares how old he is? He's so . . . beautiful.  
  
I want to be beautiful. To be smart, and rich . . . and famous. Like him. So what, if he's famous for his cruelty for his experiments and stuff? People everywhere know his name, at least. . .  
  
I wonder what he did to Gast. People said he killed him. . . I wonder if that's true? I hope not. Wouldn't he be in jail now, if he'd done that? Kicked out of ShinRa, and mocked for such a deed? No. . . He probably did kill him, then manipulated everyone. Made them believe something so very wrong. . . Something he wanted them to believe.  
  
Like . . . he's probably doing to me. Making me believe that he wants me, that he might care for me. I wonder if he loves me? . . . no. Why would he love something like me? I mean . . . I'm just a thing. As I said before. . . Nothing but an object. Something to play with. That's all he's doing, right? Playing with me. With my body, and with my mind . . . right?  
  
That has to be it.  
  
"Cloud?" Huh? Oh. . . He's back. And he brought me food. But . . . I don't want to eat. Maybe I can waste away, if I don't eat. "Here you go, hun. I didn't get you much, since I don't know what you like." No, no he didn't get me much. Fruit, some muffins . . . and is that orange juice, or some kind of . . . weird . . . thing? Who knows.  
  
"Thank you." Smile at him. Make everything seem okay. You know you have to, or he'll end up asking you what's wrong again. And then . . . you'll have to lie again. All you do is lie, lately. Why is that?  
  
Why can't you tell people, what's wrong?  
  
Kill him.  
  
Oh no. It's back. 'Kill him' is back. . . "What do you want to do? I don't think you should be training . . . you look too fatigued."  
  
I love you. "I . . . don't know. I guess I can just . . . hang around in your labs all day?" Did you . . . just say that to him? What if he says no? What if . . . oh dear lord. What if he thinks you love him?! I mean . . . no. I do, but. . . No. You can't!  
  
"If you want to, you can." I can? Oh, thank you. . . "But if anyone comes in to look for you, or if anyone makes you go back . . . we'll have to tell them that you're too ill from the Makou, okay?" What's that look in his eyes?  
  
He's smiling.  
  
Why?  
  
"I know you're faking it."  
  
Oh shit. He knows? "I'm not . . . faking it. I really am . . . a little dizzy. . ." Now I am. Now that he knows! Maybe, if I look away and pick at my food, he'll stop talking to me?  
  
"Yes you are." And then he got up. Does he not care? Does he . . . does he know that . . . I'm nothing, and that I don't deserve him? Kill him.  
  
"Hojo . . . I mean. . . Sorry." Shit. Now he's going to touch me with another one of those cold hands of his.  
  
"Sorry, for what?" And he did. Right through my hair. Kill him.  
  
"I didn't mean to call you by your name. I shouldn't have. . ."  
  
"How come?" How come? You're my superior. You deserve more respect. I'm just a lowly piece of shit, and you . . . you're this cruel, beautiful creature. . . "I think you should get to call me by my first name. I mean . . . we've had sex."  
  
Oh, yes. Go ahead! Make me choke on my muffin. Good thing I avoided doing that. . . But. . . He just said it so openly, as if it was nothing to be ashamed of. Does he care about me, or . . . or has he just slept with so many people that it's nothing to hide for him? He . . . he took my virginity. . .  
  
"Get dressed, and come down to the labs. I'll be in my office." Okay. . . Fine. If I show up. I might just stay in here . . . I don't deserve to be treated this way. You're getting me out of things I should do, but don't want to do. You're letting me spend time with you. With you. A cruel Angel.  
  
"I'll be there . . . in a few minutes. . ." 


	5. Five

Five.

These labs . . . I never noticed before. . . They're so cold. Just like him. I. . . I can't believe I never noticed any of this before. He's just like his experiments, his labs. Cold, cruel, fucked up. But he's being . . . nice to me. So nice. . . I just don't understand.

Does he know? Does he know what I . . . what I need to do? Has he figured it out? I hope not. . . I don't . . . I don't want him to stop me. He can't stop me.

He's just doing this to stop me. I know it. That's all this is about. He's stopping me, so he can toy with me longer. So he can fuck me up just like he does everyone else. Like . . . those stories about that Lucrecia woman. What he did to her. Wasn't that a woman he loved? Or, was it just a game? Like this has to be . . . it's a game. I know it is.

It has to be a game.

Maybe I should listen. . . Maybe I should listen to it, and do it. I should kill. To avoid this game, to get rid of this . . . this torment. I should just . . . I should just do it right now. Fuck him, fuck this. He's just playing a fucking game. He's trying to keep me here, keep me in his fucking ice cold grasp, to fuck me and play games with my mind. I have to get away from it.

Now.

I should just walk out of here, right now. Get rid of all this. Kill. But how could I kill something so beautiful? Something so fucked up. . . No.

I don't have to kill him, to get out of all this. I . . . I can just, kill myself. Yes.

That would get me away from this game.

That would keep me safe, keep me from this pain, this man. I know all of it is just some kind of play for him. To watch me, to see how I act. And . . . and if I die, wouldn't that be a lovely ending for his little game? A nice story, to think back on. To remember our sex, to laugh at how short of a time I lasted. To enjoy how wonderfully this all went. . .

Or would he prefer it, if I lasted longer? If he could mislead me for a long time?

I am sure. . . I'm sure he would enjoy that more. But . . . but I'm not going to subject myself to that. Fuck him. His game can be enjoyed with someone else, someone who can't know, who won't know, for such a long time. Someone he can fuck with and will never know, like a sheep. An unsuspecting sheep. Like I was at first.

"Cloud?" What? Shit. . . He noticed me. "Cloud? Hun? Are you alright?" No. Get the fuck away from me. Do not walk over here. . .

He did. Damnit. Get away from me. I had to look away. "Yeah. . . I'm fine."

"You keep staring off into space. Perhaps you aren't faking it. . ." Of course I'm not fucking faking it. You should know that. You've studied me enough, I bet, to know. I'm not faking the true pain, but that shit earlier, yeah. Fuck you, if you care.

"Bored. . . I'm just bored." More lies. But I have to lie. Don't you see? Keep lying. Or he will figure out everything, if he hasn't already. . . He probably has. I hate him so much. . .

"Oh. Well, you can go anywhere in the labs. If you get hungry, just let me know, okay? I have to go back to work now." Go back to work. Go.

"Wait. . . Where's the restroom?"

". . . It's over there." Hojo pointed me in the right direction, and off I went. If I kill myself now, then he won't be able to fuck me up more. I know . . . I know no one else would understand. Not even him. But I have to. I've needed to do this . . . before all this happened. I'm nothing, but. . . I thought I was, when he . . . when I thought he loved me. I was wrong. I'm just shit, like I said before. . .

But in there. . . I can just find something to kill myself with. Or no. Oh, there. Look. . . A knife. If I could just get that, and make sure Hojo didn't notice. . . Fuck it if he noticed. Just grab the knife and go to the bathroom. He'll be too busy. He's too busy to notice me grabbing a knife, I know, but not busy enough to fuck with my head.

With anyone's head!

This is all just a fucking game to him, and I'm cheating my way to winning. . . Even if winning means I die. It would be so much better . . . much better than if he got to kill me instead. That would mean he won.

Or does this mean he won?

I don't care. Just as long as I get away from it. Away from everything. Away from this pain, this fucking life. I'm nothing, and no one seems to understand it. I'll never make it to SOLDIER. I'll never be anything but a grunt worker, someone to be killed off by the enemy, something expandable.

So. I'm ending it.

I'm going to show these people . . . that I truly am nothing.


	6. Epilogue

Epilogue:

It had been an hour or so, maybe even more, but none-the-less, Hojo had noticed that Cloud had not been there for quite some time now. The last he had seen of the boy was him going into the bathroom. Perhaps he was doing that thing again, where he was hiding in the bathroom, sulking. With a grimace, the scientist turned away from work, and headed to the restroom.

The man had noticed before, the spacing out and such that the boy had been doing lately. That in fact was the reason that the scientist decided to make his moves, to see if the boy would really go with him, do things with him. But, maybe that was why the boy had been so willing to do things like that?

The bathroom door was locked. Locked? Hojo wondered why it would be locked, but he was more or less just worried about why that boy had been in there for so long. There was no reason for Cloud to be in there for that long, no reason at all, unless he was zoning out again. If he was, Hojo would have to see what the problem was, bring him back to his quarters, and let him rest for a while.

"Cloud? Cloud, are you alright?" Calls in vain. Hojo received no answer, only silence, before calling out again. That damned boy. Turning away, the black haired man made his way over to a counter, pulling out drawers. Somewhere, there was bound to be a screwdriver.

To say the least, Hojo was worried. That boy had been on his thoughts for ages, ever since the moment he really got to meet Cloud. Of course, when he saw him at first, there was that bit of interest, but that was nothing to pay attention to. Ever since he did meet that boy, he wanted him, to get to know him and to have nothing short of a loving relationship. At the least, they could have sex a few times. That was what he had been after though, since he noticed how out of reach the boy had become. There was no way he was going to have a relationship with someone who kept zoning out, as if going to their own world to get away from this one. People like that, they didn't want to love someone in a world they didn't want to be in. So, sex was all Hojo was sure he would get, until he could figure out what was wrong.

A screwdriver found, and he made his way back over to the bathroom door. Carefully, he removed the part of the doorknob he could, pulled out a few more pieces, then pulled the door open. "Cloud . . ?" There was no response. There was no light, either. Hojo reached up, to run his hand over the wall, 'til he found the switch, then clicked it on. Brown eyes looked up at the light as it flickered on, and then that gaze dropped down to the floor, expecting to see that blonde curled up against the wall, holding his knees to his chest. But, what he saw was nothing less than a pool of blood, a knife. . .

So that was the reason that Cloud had been zoning out so frequently. He wanted to die. What a stupid thing, Hojo thought, as he turned away. What a stupid thing to go and kill yourself. What a stupid, selfish thing to do.

Turning away, Hojo made his way back to where he had been before he decided to find the boy. What a stupid thing to do.

"Gather some people to clean the restroom." A glance was given up to one of his assistants, before looking back down at the person below him. "I hope you turn out much better than the last one. . ."

What a stupid, and predictable thing to do.

(A/N: Hah. Yeah. I had to do the epilogue in third person, so yeah. UHM, I'm thinking . . . that this story might lead up to another one, but it may not. Thank you for reading. :) And thank you for reviewing, person-I-don't-remember-the-name-of-at-the-moment. Sorry, I'm writing this right now and I don't have internet connection, so I can't check your name, and I'll forget to re-do this before I put it up. :x Really sorry, but thanks for reading! I just wish more people liked my writing. :) Well. Thank you whomever else may have read this! AND, whomever has reviewed this, I GIVE MANY THANKS! I love reviews. :) Flames, praise, comments, pointing out typos (which I have a lot of.), anything. XD So yeah. :) I'm just babbling, so THANK YOU. And see you in my next story! ;)


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